Breaking Free: The Aftermath of Toxic Relationships

Ever been haunted by the ghosts of a toxic relationship past? On this episode, I’ll take you on an intimate journey of healing and self-discovery as I unravel the complexities of the aftermath of a toxic relationship, learning how past traumas can shape our self-perception, and impact how we interact with new partners. We'll discuss how essential it is not to let these past traumas dictate our future, and the importance of open communication to heal relationship traumas.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to Sincerely Brown Skin, a podcast where I'm diving into the intimate areas of your life on all things relationships, personal growth and self-love. I'm your host, quen, and my goal each week is to provide you with a little advice, a spoonful of encouragement and a sincere reminder that, honey, you are a wonder, you are magical, you are worthy. And then some. Now let's get this quick slump of goodness. Hey you guys, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and welcome to the Sincerely Brown Skin Podcast. Today I want to talk about getting out of your own way. Perhaps you have encountered portrayal or even endured an abusive relationship marked by gaslighting, manipulation and controlling behaviors, regardless of the circumstances. The impact of those traumas simply does not vanish when the relationship ends Totsic relationship, you know they can inflict deep wounds on those involved, affecting self-perception and reactions to future partners and the navigation of new relationships. As someone who was once in a toxic relationship for, unfortunately, over a decade, I know it can be challenging to move on from that trauma. I experienced that trauma, you know, and after being cheated on by that person on several different occasions and y'all, please don't judge me, I know you're probably thinking like girl several. Listen I was young, I was a different person and not really sure of my value at the time. But anyway, after that trauma, I had to work on myself to address those trust issues stemming from that trauma. And some of you may be on a similar journey, grappling with a nagging voice in the back of your mind whispering that you're not good enough and that portrayal will occur again, even though your current partner gives you no reason to doubt them. You see, trauma it has this far reaching effect, especially when similar situations arise in your life and when you add a new relationship in the midst. It forces you to relive the initial phases of a partnership, which in turn, can potentially trigger memories and bring on behaviors such as pushing your partner away or having negative moves. You know, just self-sabotaging. But in order to overcome this, consider empathizing with your new partner. Would you appreciate it if they projected their anger onto you or treated you as though you were someone from their past? Would you like it if they did a whole bunch of comparing you to the other person? You have to remember y'all to recognize that we can't hold people accountable for the flaws of others. That is the first step in moving beyond the toxicity of past relationships. They are not them, Until they give you any reason to think otherwise. They are just trying to get to know you and bring some joy in your life. You want to know what else you got to do.

Speaker 1: 3:17

Communicate with your partner, open up your mouth, let them know what's on your mind. Because, let me tell you, relationship trauma. It can impact a new couple in two different ways. It can either strengthen the relationship or tear it apart, and study suggests that past trauma can fortify a relationship when there's open, honest and healthy communication. So discussing your past portrayals and your needs to feel secure and safe in the relationship significantly helps in your journey. This approach ensures that your partner is by your side with you during these difficult moments, spearing you from suffering alone.

Speaker 1: 4:00

However, your new relationship isn't a repetition of the past one, and you deserve happiness. You deserve happiness. Don't allow the actions of past individuals to overshadow something that could be potentially beneficial for you. Shift your focus from dwelling on the past to embracing who your partner is today. I acknowledge it's not an easy path. It certainly wasn't for me many, many years ago. However, through self therapy, honest reflection, prayer, alone time, creating this podcast and having the opportunity, as an adult, to experience what love really is. All of these things is what got me to the healing point that I am in today, and hopefully it can for you as well, and I sincerely Brown Skin. Thank you so much for listening to Sincerely Brown Skin. Make sure you share with your friend girls and hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss any of the conversation. I would love to hear from you. So if you enjoyed the show, be sure to leave me a review. Thanks for stopping by and until next time, may everything that concerns you be covered in favor in your week ahead. Bye y'all.