Sincerely, Brown Skin
Sincerely, Brown Skin
Reflections on Monogamy: Challenging Norms and Embracing Self-Worth
Ever found yourself questioning societal norms and personal values in your relationship? Ever felt like you're not 'enough' for someone? This week on Sincerely, Brown Skin, we're taking a deep dive into an authentic listener's story of discovering infidelity in her relationship. Through sharing her story, we explore the complexities of monogamy, expectations, and self-worth in the modern relationship landscape.
Thanks for listening! Follow us on Instagram, subscribe and remember to share with your friend girl!
Welcome to Sincerely Brown Skin, a podcast where I'm diving into the intimate areas of your life, on all things relationships, personal growth and self-love. I'm your host, quen, and my goal each week is to provide you with a little advice, a spoonful of encouragement and a sincere reminder that, honey, you are a wonder, you are magical, you are worthy, and then some. Now let's get this quick slide, for goodness.
Speaker 2:Welcome to a brand new week of Sincerely Brown Skin. I am back here again with another round of sincere honesty to offer one of our listeners who reached out to me recently asking for some relationship advice and, of course, with her permission, I'm going to share with you a little bit of her story, because everyone loved a little story that they can relate to, right? So there's this guy she is dating and one day she goes to a restaurant to grab some takeout and she sees him there with someone else. At first, not thinking anything about it, she walks over to say hey, he speaks joyfully, introduces her to the other person like it's nobody's business, and then she asks him politely hey, can I speak to you properly for a sec? And then Priscilla asks him um, who is that person? I know you're not here on a date with someone else after you told me you had a business meeting. And then she says no, I didn't say I had a business meeting. I said I had dinner already planned for tonight.
Speaker 2:Now, let's pause this story just for a second. This is a great example of hearing what you want to hear and not taking the time to listen to the truth at face value. That man told her what he was going to be doing, but she was not listening nor thinking to ask the right proceeding questions. All right, now back to her story. So this young lady trying to compose herself and not act a plump fool out in public you know she puts on that brave face we all do when we're trying to save face and was like well, all right, then you have yourself a good old evening. He then pulls her in softly before she walks away and says we could. Right, she listened and wanted to read him for complete filth and says I mean, if we're being honest, I didn't know we were seeing other people. But okay, she walks away and embarrassment pundering the fact that they never discussed being exclusive. She didn't think that she really had to, based on their blissful past few months, but she also realized that, while she was just focused only on him, because she was told she was not one to ever have the energy nor the time to balance multiple men, he, on the other hand, have been doing it with ease.
Speaker 2:She knew, though, that she didn't want an open relationship, so she ends with asking this question is monogamy too much to expect in a relationship? Because right now, I'm feeling like I am not enough, since he feels like he can't be with just one person. This is something from a past involvement, when I was much younger, that I've battled with internally on a daily basis. Some days I viewed it as cheating because I thought that we were in a monogamous relationship, but then society norms kicked in and had me viewing it from an accepting place because everyone quote unquote did it right, or that idea of Everyone has their crap and it's just a matter of what you're willing to tolerate. Where I stand firmly today on the matter is this no, sweetie, monogamy is not too much to expect in your relationship. But I also know that monogamy would not be for everyone and you can't force it down their throat, no matter how hard you try.
Speaker 2:Monogamy is one of those things two people have to be on the same page about in order to make a relationship work. It can't be, it can't be, one side. You both need to be direct about your feelings and your expectations early on, so that you both can gain more clarity about each other and your relationship. Now, for that part about not being enough thinking you are not enough for someone is some bull. What you should say is I will be enough for the right person. When you meet the right person who's ready and knows what he wants and understands the joy of building a relationship with one person, that person would know that you are enough and he can't imagine anything better.
Speaker 2:You know, there is this common misconception out there with the belief that being with one person day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, gets old and tiresome. But the truth of the matter is this there are millions of happily married people out there who wouldn't trade in their unions for anything. Why? Because they're best friends, they have great labs, they enjoy each other's company and value each other's thoughts, while still appreciating each other differences. Knowing that someone is on your side, really truly on your side, and, you know, sees you clearly and forgives you every day for your faults, in your bad moments there's nothing else like it.
Speaker 2:You turn to this person who knows you so well and sometimes you find yourself giving the same face, respiration or thinking the same thing about something you both saw at the same time and you both start laughing because you understand each other. To be able to say nothing and know so much, to know so much and still want each other People who've never had love like that. They want you to believe that it doesn't exist, or that it's unheard of in today's day and age, or that it always ends and heartache or loss, or both of them. Don't listen to those people. Monogamy does exist. My parents have been a witness to it for 43 years. So, yes, monogamy is alive and well. Sincerely Brown Skin.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. Felicity to Sincerely Brown Skin. Make sure you share with your friend girls and hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss any of the conversation. I would love to hear from you. So if you enjoyed the show, be sure to leave me a review. Thanks for stopping by, and until next time, may everything that concerns you be covered in favor in your week ahead. Bye-bye.